


In Which Sixteen Gods Royally Screw Up Everything

by BardOfLight



Series: Life on a New Earth [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, My First AO3 Post, Not Canon Compliant - The Homestuck Epilogues, Not Epilogue Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24707740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardOfLight/pseuds/BardOfLight
Summary: On the other side of the white door is a brand new world.The new Earth might not be a paradise, but it's got trolls and humans and Obama so it can't be that bad.Your name isKARKAT VANTASand you want to put this wholeSGRUB BULLSHITbehind you and start livingPEACEFULLYwith your matesprite/boyfriend.Your name isJOHN EGBERTand there arePEOPLE TO SAVEand things to do. May as well put theseAWESOME POWERSof yours to good use!You are a set of sixteen Gods unleashed on an unsuspecting world and surelyNOTHINGwill go wrong!
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Kanaya Maryam & Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: Life on a New Earth [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1789441
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	1. First Day: Jade Harley

Your name is **JADE HARLEY**

You just got done playing a **RATHER INTENSE VIDEO GAME**.

Understatement of the fucking year.

You have successfully created a **BRAND NEW EARTH** for you and your **BEST FRIENDS** to live on. Her Imperial Condescension is **DEAD** , Lord English is apparently banished into a **BLACK HOLE** and all your friends are **ALIVE** and standing here with you. You now stand on an island in the middle of the **PACIFIC OCEAN** where your Grandpa/Dad/Grandson’s home once stood apparently **SEVENTY MILLION YEARS AGO**.  
What will you do?

### Jade: Watch the sun rise for the first time in three years

Yellow light breaks over the top of the horizon and the reflection plays across the calm ocean waves. The dark shadows of scattered clouds break the streaks of red that bleed into the sky. The ocean breeze rushes against everyones ears and carries the familiar sound of crashing waves and the familiar smell of sea salt. You feel tears stream down your cheeks.  
You’re finally home again.  
Well, it’s not really your home per-say, but its close enough.  
You wipe your eyes clean and let out a little sob/giggle. And you aren’t the only one. Despite the tears, John has a smile on his face wider than you have ever seen. Jake is bouncing on his feet with a very similar grin plastered to his face.  
Karkat, the eternal grump, is of course the first to open his mouth.

OKAY FINE, I WILL CONCEDE YET ANOTHER POINT TO EARTH. ON TOP OF NOT BEING FINE-TUNED TO MAXIMIZE WIGGLER ABUSE ON A PLANETARY SCALE, YOU HAVE A DAMN GOOD SUNRISE.

Shhhhhhhh Karkat you’re ruining the mom8nt!

niice going, diip2hiit 

You roll your eyes and chuckle at the crabby new God-Tier. His maroon cape and hood honestly look fantastic on him. All the trolls who didn't get God-Tier were given it upon passing that white door. Maybe as prize for winning without dying? Paradox Space sure is weird. The red-and-blue-eyed troll who you don't recognize is wearing his new green cloak with a yellowish hood. Terezi has a new neon green outfit which looks like Rose's but she seems to be happy to leave the hood covering her eyes. Kanaya's black Sylph of Space outfit is also really pretty!  
Now that the silence has been sufficiently broken, excited conversation starts to rise in the gaggle of trans-dimensional teens. Rose and Kanaya are hugging and you think you saw Kanaya sneak a kiss. The ram-horned troll in red has a really wide, toothy smile on her face. Honestly it looks a little creepy, but it's not her fault. Maybe you just need some more time to get used to her. Mr. Crocker lifts John and Jane for a bear hug. While Jane hugs him back laughing, John chuckles a little awkwardly.  
Oh that's unfortunate. Mr. Crocker might look like Mr. Egbert but they aren't the same, are they?  
The Mayor and the stern looking Prospitian are holding hands. Are they... a thing? Do Carapacians even do romance? You never thought to ask during all your years on Prospit! Either way, they look very cute together. Terezi is inhaling deeply at the rising sun. You have no idea what a sunrise smells like, but it looks like she is enjoying it. The Stider brothers, Dave and ... (was it Dereck?), are sporting small grins, which you know means tears of joy to any normal person. Roxy hops over and wraps you and Calliope in a giggly hug. You hug back of course. After Calliope gets over her surprise at physical contact, she turns to return the hug too. All in all, it's a moment of celebration, joy, and the beginning of a new chapter. Hopefully this one will be less lonely than the journey on the battleship.

Once Roxy releases you, you take a moment to collect yourself and then reach out with your spatial awareness. Yep this is definitely your Island, or at least a very close copy. But what about the rest of Earth? You reach out more... And more…  
and more…  
and more...  
... this is stupid  
You never appreciated just how fucking huge the Earth was! You could fit at least five whole mediums in the space between here and the core of the planet. And that’s including the empty space between the planets of the game! If you were a Seer of Space, you might be able to give a more accurate measurement, but needless to say, the sheer quantity of stuff around you is a little overwhelming. You feel like you can still teleport anywhere on the planet in a single jump, but you probably won't have the same pin-point accuracy unless you take time to specifically remember locations to jump to.  
You deeply inhale with your canine snout and immediately regret it. It's like a punch to the nose packed with the smells of Life.  
Billions of people and trolls, countless other animals, smoke from a wildfire somewhere, pollution from cities, crisp air from forests and millions of other nasty and pleasant smells.  
There is so much out there! It's incredible! You can't wait to explore it all. But ... wait a moment. You inhale again carefully. That's odd. You only smell two Carapacians on this whole planet. And they are right here with you. What happened to all the ones you dropped here to get life on Earth started?  
You shrug. That's probably a question for the Time players or the Seers. It was their job to plan out Earth's history and guide it down the right path. But you don't remember the specifics of what they did. You were busy resting. Growing the planet back to it's original size and helping Kanaya heal the the destroyed climate and landscape was a lot of work! Anyways, you know that Dave just wanted to make sure that he gets to live in a world with some version of Obama. Any timeline without an Obama is not a timeline worth living in (lol!)  
You concentrate your senses on the denser pockets of human and troll scents. That must be... Hawaii to the north. Right where it should be. That means to the east, and a bit farther north... Your concentration is broken by a certain friendly/leaderly shout.

SHUT IT!!! *ahem* rose has something to say everyone, so listen up! ... yes that means you too karkat ... terezi stop cackling like that ... alright, take it away rose!

Yes, thank you John. Remember everyone, this planet is a lot like the Earth John, Dave, Jade and myself left behind. While it may be leaps and bounds above the horrors of Alternia, it's not exactly a paradise out there either. Even though I sincerely doubt there is anything on this planet that could pose a threat to us, I would prefer it if we didn’t cause a massive mess and caught too much attention on our very first day. We seem to have escaped the confines of the single Alpha timeline but I can still see that our best fortune lies in concealing our status as Gods from the world for the time being. Sollux can you confirm this? 

Sollux rolls his shoulders and cracks a grin.

yeah… ii thiink thii2 ii2 the fiir2t time we’ve ever not been 2urrounded by doom on all 2iide2. iit feel2... really niice actually. lalonde ii2 riight though, 2howiing our face2 and revealiing our2elve2 a2 god2 feel2 liike a doomy-thiing to do

Thank you Sollux, so –

L4LOND3, MR. 4PPL3 B3RRY, WH1L3 1 H4V3 NOTH1NG BUT R3SP3CT FOR YOUR, 4H3M, _D1V1N3_ V1S1ONS AND F33L1NGS, 1’M 4FR41D TO S4Y TH4T TH3S3 JOK3RS WON’T B3 4BL3 TO R3S1ST SHOW1NG OFF FOR LONG. 1 CAN S33 1T 1N MY M1NDS 3Y3. TH3Y'R3 GO1NG TO BLOW OUR COV3R PR3TTY F4ST. 3SP3C14LLY 3GG-DORK OV3R TH3RE >:)

hey!! i might seem like an idiot compared to a gogdamn god-tiered Seer of Mind, but i’m smarter than that! i would never go against rose’s advice unless there was a very good reason!

L1K3 1F YOU H4PP3N TO STUMBL3 4CROSS 4 CR1M1N4L 4BOUT TO COMM1T MURD3R? YOU WOULD L3T TH3M GO?

… gog you are the worst

I suppose I wouldn’t expect any less from you, but please try to at least keep your identities and godhood hidden for now.

so we aren't supposed to use our powers at all?? that's no fair : (

Of course not. Just while you are around civilians. If your life ... or if a civilian's life is in danger, I suppose I cannot ask you to not save them. Just do not get caught on camera and expose yourself to as few witnesses as possible.

thanks for the warning rose. i don't know about the rest of you, but i want to check this place out! what do you say we all meet back here by noon? 

A murmur of general agreement comes from the small pantheon. The teenagers start chatting, grouping up, and getting ready to depart. Everyone is eager to get acquainted with their new home, even if they have to change out of their comfy God pajamas and into more normal-looking clothes.  
Where to go first? You always heard so much about the USA, surely it would be a good place to visit first! Maybe you can tag along with Dave and Karkat? Or perha-

Jade?

hmm? yes Jane?

I was speaking to my Dad. He told me that before I go out, we should really think about building a new home for our group here. And while I really do want to get out there and see the world, I kind of have to agree! It would be a real shame if everyone got back here later and there was nowhere to sleep or eat! Any chance you could give me a hand?

Well… it’s not like this world is going to be destroyed by any reality-ending games any time soon. You guess you can wait a single day.

### Jade: Use your Spacey powers to build a bomb-ass base

You recruit the help of a two friendly Carapacians, one fatherly gentleman, and one crabby troll with architecture experience (who knew?). Along with your Spacey powers and the tech-savvy Maid of Life, your new base is making rapid progress. It's a small miracle that the alchemiters from the meteor still work and that the game let you keep your grist in this new universe. While Jane alchemizes building materials, Karkat makes blueprints with the advice of the Mayor and Mr. Crocker. They are done by the time you finish clearing land and safely embedding the meteor in the side of the volcano. While you do the heavy lifting, the others get busy furnishing and putting in finer details. It isn't long before the foundations for the massive complex have been laid and the central living space has been completed. The next step will be to make a wing of bedrooms and bathrooms for everyone to live in until they can build or find their own homes.  
You hope they won't be just temporary rooms though. You are planning to host lots and lots of parties here. You have nearly 16 years of lost social time to catch up on after all!

A few more hours pass and the bright, beaming, tropical sun nears the top of the sky. You are sitting on top of your brand new tower taking a breather and enjoying the view. It’s so familiar and comforting. The only difference you can see is the frog temple. While still old, it looks much newer than what you remember. It must have been rebuilt since you dropped the first humans, trolls, and Carapacians to seed the new Earth. That was nice of them! You wonder if they left behind anything for you and your friends.  
  
Hmm… speaking of your friends, their scents are all getting steadily stronger as they presumably fly towards the island. You guess it is getting close to noon and people are going to be wanting lunch. Mr. Crocker and Jane seem to be breaking in their new kitchen in the tower below, preparing meals for the oncoming horde of hungry teenagers.  
  
Now that you think of it, you don’t think you’ve ever eaten a proper, home-cooked meal before. Maybe your Grandpa cooked, but it was so long ago you don't really remember.

...

##### You swear to yourself on your Grandpa’s Taxidermy Corpse, nothing and nobody is going to take this fantastic new life away from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll be updating with a new chapter probably twice a week.  
> These next few chapters will be pretty lighthearted but it's probably going to earn itself a Mature rating and a whole bunch of new tags eventually.  
> To explain where this lies in relation to Canon:  
> Once the new universe was successfully activated everyone still alive was transported into the new universe. This includes Vriska, Sollux, Aradia, and all the surviving Prospitians and Dersites scattered across the sessions and planets.  
> Earth C as we see in the snapchat and epilogues does NOT happen.


	2. First Day: Jake English

Your name is **JAKE ENGLISH**

You have just **STEALTHILY** landed in a forest outside a town in the United States of America. Your are accompanying your friends **JOHN EGBERT** and **DAVE STRIDER**. John says that you are currently a short walk away from his **ORIGINAL HOME**.

While you _are_ excited to visit a **REAL LIFE TOWN** you can’t help but feel very nervous about being around so many strangers. What will you do?

### Jake: Swallow your fear and follow your friends to the road.

John and Dave step through the bushes of the forest and onto the sidewalk. You hop through the foliage and quietly trail behind them. You only freak out a little when a massive beast of metal roars past you on the road. You’ve heard of cars and trucks and the like, but didn’t expect them to be so _noisy_.

okay, but i don’t know what you are expecting to see when you get there. you know that your nana was never brought to this earth right? your dad can’t have been born.

You don’t know that Dave! John’s father was never brought in on a meteor! Maybe a different version of his father is here. You should at least give him a chance to see for himself.

John smiles at you. You feel your powers tug at your spirit and move to John. Oops. You didn’t mean to do that, but it looks like you were the only one to notice it. You take a closer look at John to try to figure out what happened.

no dave, even if the chances are low, i ought to at least check! even if even if he isn’t here, i think this is better than taking jake to a big city or something for his first trip! he probably ought to get comfortable with suburbs before anything else.

Oh, you must have brought him some extra Hope. Now that you know what to look for, you can see it faintly following him. It seems his belief in his Dad is stronger now. Maybe that will make his odds of being here a better? Dave gives you a quick glance. Did he notice what you did? You honestly can't tell. The resemblance to Dirk is a little frightening and you could never tell what was going on behind those pointy shades. At least the trademark stoic expression the Striders share seems far warmer on Dave than on Dirk.

yeah. fair point. no offence English, but you look like a deer in headlights and we haven’t even run into another actual person yet

I must admit this new adventure has my stomach in knots, my good pals. But i sure am glad that you are here to help me! i don’t think i would have had the confidence to get out here and see the real world without your help.

no problem, dude. ooh! while we are here, we should go see what movies are playing at the movie theater

wow. we haven’t been on this planet for even two hours and you would already rather watch some dumb movie than go visit the wonders of the world? i’ll have you know that there are some really spectacular things that got built over the last three millennia. you know the pyramids john? wouldn’t you want to get a tour of the pyramids guided by someone who was actually there when they were being built??

Maybe not today. I am sure there would be a lot of crowds at such a grand ancient place. But sometime soon, i certainly would love to visit pyramids and temples and things of that sort!

The three of you chat as you walk, discussing and debating on things to do and places to visit. As you get closer to town, the scattered houses become denser. The roads become wider and you see more and more cars on the road. Eventually John leads you down a street into a neighborhood of many identical, quaint-looking houses. Most people seem to be away or indoors at the moment but you finally do see some real people! You see an elderly looking lady tending to a garden, a mix of human and troll children playing basketball in a driveway, and a human couple walking a dog. None of them seem to pay the group of three teenagers any mind.  
Thank goodness! You sure are glad for Rose’s warning earlier. Before leaving the island, the three of you changed into the outfits you used to wear before you started playing the game. Your god-tier outfits definitely would have attracted some attention. Especially yours, what with the lack of pants and all.  
John turns the corner onto another identical suburban street and suddenly becomes very quiet. You can’t see his face but you can imagine. This must be his street. The conversation halts and John leads the way down to one of the many houses and stands in front of it quietly. A pickup truck is parked in the drive way and a brightly colored doghouse is in the yard. You look to John. The glow of Hope following John is gone and he looks very disappointed.  
Now you feel really awful. You hoped against all odds that John might get his father back. But now he has been disappointed. Maybe you shouldn’t have encouraged him in the first place.

Dave slings an arm around John’s shoulders

don’t worry man. mr. crocker is still here and we are all still here. you might have lost a dad but now you have a whole new troop of friends.

yeah… i guess you are right. what do you think jake? let’s get out of here and see if there is a movie playing

sure thing john. i am sorry, but maybe a good flick will be just the distraction you need!

The three orphan Gods leave the neighborhood and start heading a bit farther into town. You look up stop in your tracks.

Is that? … A crocker-corp factory?

Sure enough, you can spot the familiar red-spoon logo on the side of the massive factory. You can feel yourself go a bit cold with fear. How in the bloody hell did the Condesce make her way here to this world?

don’t jump to anything just yet. i think the betty crocker company existed here before even my nana was brought to earth. you should pester roxy. i'm sure she will be able to use her hacking skills and tell us if crocker-corp is up to anything shady.

### Jake: Pester the leet haxor

golgothasTerror [GT]  began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GT: Hello roxy! 

GT: Could I noodge you for a favor?

TG: jakey! np bud what can i do for u?

GT: I am with john and dirk’s bro visiting john’s and jane’s old neighborhood and we noticed there’s a crockercorp factory here!

TG: yikes! :(

GT: precisely! And you have always said you are the most skilled hacker there is. Any chance you could dig into crockercorp and see if there’s anything we need to worry about?

TG: sure thing

TG: im on it

TG: hmm

TG: im not seeing anything to susp right now

GT: okay. that’s reassuring at least. 

TG: but ill take some time to really root through there servers for anything … fishy ; )

You go ahead and let your friends know that they probably don’t have to worry about crockercorp for the time being. They seem visibly relieved and you continue walking toward the movie theater. It would have been a real frustration if after all their effort the Empress had survived and somehow followed them.

GT: Thanks roxy. You really are on the Trolley!

GT: We’re going to go check out the movies now.

TG: wait jake. the moves?

TG: *movies

TG: how are you gonna pay for that?

GT: Umm. I guess that is a good point. I hadn’t thought of that.

TG: then you would be pleased to kno that the grumpy hacker troll, dirk and yours truly have been hard at work. we’ve been liverating some dough off the fat cats of this earth, givin it out to some people who really need it, and keeping a bit for ourselves ; )

TG: *liberating

GT: Blimey!

TG: you wouldn’t BELIEVE some of the poverty out there jake. while those hoity-toity rich people sit on their secure accounts of billions. it’s Outrageous!

TG: btw heres the info for your new tolltroll account

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] sent golgothasTerror [GG] file "jakesTollTroll.txt" 

GT: Well if you say so. If you really are helping people out there, then i suppose i will wish you the best of luck.

GT: And i will graciously accept a gift from the robinhood of the modern era :P

TG: LOL! dont worry english, i know what im doing. ttyl!

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

### Jake: Have your first cinema experience on the new earth be delayed by heroic shenanigans

Payment method in hand, the three of you make your way farther into town towards the movie theater. You watch all the people walking up and down the streets. You wouldn’t quite call this crowded, but your stomach still twists anxiously at the sight of each new human or troll. At least John and Dave seem to be enjoying themselves, until John holds out his arm and stops you.

do you hear that? 

hm? no i don’t hear anything

… 

wait, yeah actually i do hear it. something on the … john the breeze is carrying a voice to you. damn that’s a useful breath ability. what’s that breezy? ‘lil timmy fell down the well?

John cuts the classic Strider rant off before it can begin in earnest.

this way

John takes off running down the street and around a block toward an industrial area. The roads are empty and there seems to be nobody around. You approach what looks to be a parking garage and see a series of red cogs flash from the roof of the building. Dave (it must be a future dave) signals to you from the roof before disappearing.

i must have jumped back to confirm it’s safe. we’re good to fly up there

You all take flight and land on top of the parking lot. Greeting you is an empty garage roof with carefully taped over CCTV cameras on two opposite corners of the building. Dave rolls his eyes and goes about closing the time loop while you and John run to the opposite side of the garage. John peers over the edge carefully and you do the same. In the alley below you see. Oh stars! Four hooligans have ganged up on some poor fool and have really done a number on him! You can feel the wind shift as John tenses to leap over the barrier and onto the assailants but Dave grabs his shoulder and hisses under his breath.

cool it Egbert! remember what rose said? we can’t get risk getting exposed over one guy getting his ass handed to him.

John looks at Dave with incredulity and you can’t help but agree. While you might understand the need for subtlety, you absolutely cannot stand aside and do nothing while some poor bloke is in danger! You think it over and then reach into your abilities. If you can’t get involved yourself then you Hope that the poor man will be able to win on his own. You try to push some hope to the man down there. John looks down at the scene below and his eyes go wide. He whispers

whoa, look at that

The man who had been kicked down suddenly gets up, wreathed in a faint pale glow. The four criminals look startled but you can’t tell if they can see the Hope or not. The bravest one snarls, pulls a blade and lunges. The would-be victim parries the arm aside and grabs hold of the attacker’s shoulder. He looks as surprised as the thug when he uses his new Hope infused strength to carry the attacker around on their own momentum and smoothly toss them into their accomplices. The unsuspecting goons are all knocked over and fall into a scrambling pile. Suddenly, the former victim is the only one standing. He grabs what looks to be his wallet and backpack off the floor and sprints out of the alley before the thieves can get up.  
The three of you walk back the way you came, float down to the ground, and escape the scene before speaking again.

did you do that jake? did you make him strong enough to fight for himself?

Umm, yeah? I don’t really know how to explain my powers well. I think this actually the first time i've done a hopey thing on purpose

that’s awesome dude!

as cool as it was, you better hope like hell that those guys didn’t see that hopey glowing you made. or at least that nobody believes them if they tell anybody.

You shrug and make a non-committal grunt. Dave is probably right, it was a bit risky but it was also quite cool. But, that didn’t seem like the kind of thing Dirk would do. He would probably have completely ignored the struggle below. You can hear him now.

That guy is going to come out of this stronger than ever. This is his origin story, don’t ruin it.

And yet, you can’t help but feel very cool for doing what you did … You lose your train of thought when you arrive at the cinema for a midday matinee on a week when nothing new has come out. It’s a cookie cutter big-name movie theater that looks exactly like what you pictured. The outside looks slightly dilapidated and the old, red neon signs look like they were put up five years ago and haven’t been touched since. One or two originals and twenty sequels are featured on posters outside and in cut-outs indoors. As you enter, you can smell buttered popcorn and … what is probably the body odor of the hundreds of twelve year-olds who have had their birthday parties here. Your eyes are assaulted by the flash of arcade machines as John and Dave purchase tickets for a movie that came out two weeks ago: “In which Troll Dwayne the Rock Johnson plays the single father of a little girl, saves a love interest from a certain peril, and punches lots of nameless thugs while delivering one-liners every three and a half minutes”. You fork over more money on a bucket of stale popcorn and a jug of liquid candy than what a full dinner at a restaurant would cost. By the time you reach your squeaky, uncomfortable theater seats, your popcorn is already cold. You have the whole theater to yourself except for the young couple who sit in the back corner for some reason and the family who sits directly behind you. You sit through twenty minutes of advertisements before the movie begins … with another five minutes of studio logos. With John sitting on one side snickering at every joke and Dave on other side making quips and comments, not a single five minute period of cinema goes unpunctuated by your friends words.

### Jake: Hate every second of this gross excuse for entertainment in this corporate dystopia.

You fail to hate this in spectacular fashion.

This may well be the very best day of your life so far. And if it is going to be like this, you think you can afford to have a bit of Hope for your future. Things are looking up for Jake English!


	3. First Day: Roxy Lalonde

Your name is **ROXY LALONDE**

You are currently at the brand **SPANKIN’** new Harley/English HQ. While Jane and her Dad have been cooking up a storm. You have been hard at work gathering cash for your **BESTIES**. There’s a lot of **RICH PEEPS** out there who won’t even notice a **FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS** missing from their accounts. Besides, you gave **MOST** of it away or **VARIOUS CHARITIES** since you’ll be able to make money for yourself soon enough.

### Roxy: Consider Jake’s warning about Crockercorp

When Jake told you about that damned factory he saw, you froze up and had a hard time breathing. Thank gog Dirk was there to help keep you moving and thinking rationally. He and Sollux helped comb the internet with you, but none of you could find anything suspicious. No mind-control or obedience branding, no red space ships, nor an aquatic theme of any kind. Dirk spent a lot of time looking into the histories of major Crockercorp executives. He didn’t find anything too unusual. There were several humans and trolls who might be the Empress in disguise or might be secretly taking orders from her, but he would need more information to know for sure.

What does stand out to you was how Crockercorp seems to be involved in a lot of corruption and morally dubious activities across the world. Every time there is a major scandal Crockercorp is never the perpetrator, but they always have an iron in the fire. For example, that one guy who had rigged an election in an Eastern European nation. He wasn’t a Crockercorp executive, but his company sells more plastic to Crockercorp than anybody else. Stuff like this seems to happen about twice per year. Sollux found an article claiming that Crockercorp was paying off major news companies to do fewer investigations, but the gal who wrote it didn’t seem to follow up on her report so the story got dropped.

Even though there’s been no evidence of the Empress herself, you aren’t ready to give up suspicion yet. Maybe the Fish Bitch knew that you’d be showing up so she’s been hiding herself even more carefully this time. If Crockercorps shady involvement in scandals are any indication, they seem to heading in a Fishy direction. If she’s here and she’s been laying low, there will be signs of communications and planning on the internal company network. You are going to have to pay a visit to a Crockercorp server farm. Even with your awesome Rogue of Void powers, you’ll need to take some teammates with you.

### Roxy: Stop ignoring this ham sandwich and bowl of French onion soup and dig into it like you plan to dig into the crimes of Crockercorp.

You tuck right into that sandwich/soup combo. And let me tell you, that shit is heavenly. It’s almost enough to make you forget all about that damned corporation. Even better, you are getting to eat with the whole gang. You have officially decided that eating is a thing that should always be done with friends. If you have anything to say about it, your days of eating alone are behind you! Everybody on the team has agreed that when it comes to cooking, Jane is simply the best there is. The current accepted theory is that she has an unfair advantage due to her Aspect, but you aren’t so sure. She is the only one who has been practicing cooking since before the game. So maybe she’s just that good. You’ve eaten Jane’s cooking in the medium plenty of times, but today she has really outdone herself! Maybe it has something to do with your bestie’s new bubbly cheerful attitude? She does have a lot to be happy about. She has her planet back, she has her Dad back, and she is free from the Empress’s influence. It’s probably why you haven’t brought up Jake’s messages yet. You aren’t trying to keep a secret, but you don’t want to ruin this good mood of hers. Once most people are done eating, you start recruiting for your next excursion, but you try to do it subtly.

### Roxy: Assemble your band of merry men, trolls, and cherubs

Fuck yeah. You probably don’t technically need me there, but there’s no way in hell that I’m passing up an opportunity to dredge up the Batterbitches dms.

i'm in!!! i'll make sure you have all the time you need

yoU really think yoU’ll need me? well how coUld i ever refuse!!! i sUppose having a mUse of space around cannot hUrt. ^u^

### Roxy: Depart for the Land Down Under

With your accomplices in tow, you fly away from the island and toward the outskirts of Sydney Australia. Soon you find yourself approaching a sleek white building with red trimmings and a glaring red spoon logo. When you get close enough to the ground for people to see you, you pull the void around the tight formation of flying God-Tiers. Calliope leads the way everyone holds hands as you allow yourself to slip farther into the void. You close your eyes and concentrate on making yourself and your group unnoticeable and intangible. You can feel Calliope lead you through the ground and guide the group through the solid earth until you pop out on the other side, into a chilly underground room. You open your eyes to a vast hall of blinking servers. Cooling fans whir and drown out all other sounds, and your breath condenses in the chilled air. The lights are too dim for you to see the end of the server farm on any side, but you can see elevator shafts that lead to the offices above. Wires crisscross along the ceiling and floors like blood vessels. This place feels more like the inside of a frozen animal than a place of business.

With Calliope’s help, it doesn’t take long for you to find the correct ports to plug into and get your battle station going. Aradia is on guard duty. She buys you time by freezing guards whose patrols wander too close. While she doesn’t have much technology skill, she seems highly invested in stopping a potential Empress. 

i know what that bitch is capable of. she lost her last helmsman and i've managed to keep her away from sollux up to this point. i don’t care what it takes, neither him nor me are serving anybody ever again.

Honestly the way she is so protective of him is adorable! You don’t remember the name of that kind of troll relationship. Monorails? Anyways, it’s your turn to be the hacker girl!

### Roxy: Be the hacker. Crack the codes. Do the Voidy thing and Steal the Ambiguity to leave information in its place.

Sollux might claim to be a hacker to stroke his ego and make himself feel cooler, but between the two of you, he really isn’t really a hacker. His understanding of Doom and inevitability make him an excellent programmer, no doubt. He knows what is guaranteed by the rules of logic and can use that to his advantage when writing programs or viruses. But you are the true hacker because you know how to steal away the layers of obscurity and leave behind the information you actually want. You’ve been doing it without even realizing since you were a little girl. It feels like second nature to pull apart the layers of encryption and find the patterns when there are none. Crockercorp likes to keep their internal documents and communications under the strongest locks and keys. But metaphorically speaking, you don’t need to touch the lock if you can make the box disappear.

It hasn’t been more than an hour before all of Crockercorp’s internal records are laid bare before you. You pass interesting files off to Dirk and Calliope for them read through. Silence falls over the three of you as the searching begins.

… 

… 

… 

### Roxy: Find jack shit evidence of an evil Fushia-blood Empress

There is so much here! Nosy journalists have been silenced, politicians have been bought, freedoms have been eroded, the planet’s ecosystems and climate are deteriorating, but not a single mention or implication of a mysterious empress pulling the strings! There doesn’t seem to be any single person in charge of all this but they are doing nearly the exact same stuff the Batterwitch did before coming out to the public. There’s even mention of a Juggalo Cult somehow! You just don’t understand. If these really are just normal humans and trolls why the hell are they doing this to their own society???

Dirk’s face is solid and stoic as ever, but you can tell by the subtle changes to his posture that he is as confused as you. Calliope on the other hand, doesn’t seem so surprised.

yo! callie, babe? are you seeing what we’re seeing? i can’t make heads nor tails of this.

Hmm? Oh yes Roxy. There seems to be no sign that her imperioUs condescension has had any hand in this corporation. in fact, there does not seem to be any one individUal with a monopoly on power within this company. So either she is sharing power here, or she has taken on nUmeroUs aliases simUltaneoUsly. I think that this is very Unlikely thoUgh.

yea, yea i could tell that. but what the hell? do you see all the shit these people are doing? classic condy stuff all over the place!

i … i don’t Understand? there is nothing here that seems like a calling card of the Empress. there have been no attempts to contact the jUggalos or gUy fieri. there has been no proposed rebranding of the spoon logo into a 3dent. none of the suspected aliases of the empress share her mannerisms or ego. at least none that can be seen in text and email histories.

Oh shit. I get it now.

what is it???

Remember Roxy, the Condy never could mind control humans and she didn’t have mind control back when she ruled over Alternia.

yeah … and???

Humans and Trolls are doing this shit to themselves. The Empress didn’t cause all the problems of our timeline, she just gave it an aquatic theme and made it happen faster. It … it looks like humans have always been cruel and apathetic to each other and aren’t that different from Trolls after all.

…

Roxy. There’s nothing we can do. Even if we took down the people leading this place, there’ll be more eventually. Someone else will become the bully.

### Roxy’s Mission: Succeed unsatisfactorily

Dirk and Aradia convince you to call off the mission once it became quite conclusive that there was no Empress here. You all depart for once again towards _La Isla de Harley e English_. Calliope, sympathetic and supportive as ever, reassures you that the actions of fellow humans shouldn’t weigh on your shoulders. You don’t judge her for her brother’s actions after all.

There might be some truth to that, and Callie always knows how to make you feel better about things, but the low feeling of anger in your gut doesn’t leave. You think to yourself, how could they do this? Don’t they realize what the consequences will be? Dirk disagrees. He thinks that they should stay out of it. But Aradia is on your side. She knows how cruel trolls can be to each other. Just look at how awful Alternia was. But she is also sick and tired of humans and trolls enslaving each other. If you call for her or Sollux to help you right these wrongs, she says she will be there.

##### You swear to yourself that this world will never, ever become like the one you remember.


	4. Three Months Post-Arrival: Kanaya Maryam

Your name is **KANAYA MARYAM**

You are doing your best to be as **DIGNIFIED** as possible while simultaneously sitting in a **DITCH** by the side of the road. The time is 4:13 AM and you are using yourself as a **READING LIGHT**. You hear a semi-truck roll up to the **DEISEL STATION** across the road and you hear its door open and close. You peek over the side of the ditch and see the **ORANGE HORNS** of a troll. What do you do?

### Kanaya: Feed

With practiced silence you captchalogue your book and stand up. You squint and try to get a closer look at the driver. They have your back turned to you and their horns look like those of a snow-tank-beast. They are called “moose” here on Earth if you recall correctly. They seem to be alone and busy with pumping fuel.

Perfect.

In a single catlike motion, you bound from your place in the ditch toward the troll. You use your God-Tier flying abilities to catch yourself before you touch the ground and land silently behind the truck driver. Perhaps he could feel the air move around him, or maybe the reflection of your glow alerted him, but he begins to turn his head around to face you.

The Poor Fool.

Predicting his movement, you grab his antlers in one super-strengthened hand, and wrap the other arm his torso. You yank his head to the side and lean forward to his exposed neck. You reveal your rainbow-drinker fangs, aim, and bite down on an artery.

The taste of Olive-Blood fills your mouth.

You are tempted to drain him dry but you stop yourself. The troll lets out a faint whimper and quickly falls unconscious in your arms. Once you feel that you have had enough to drink, you hold him gently and lift him into the seat of the cab. His face is pale and he begins to shiver. All it takes to stop the bleeding from your bite is a thin bandage around his neck. But he is still dangerously low on blood. If you don’t do anything, he will likely die anyways.

You aren’t a Life nor Blood player. You cannot directly return nor create any new blood for him. As a Sylph the healing abilities you have are specialized to your Aspect: Space. With Rose’s help, you succeeded in developing an ability for this situation. Space symbolizes creation, including the creation of new cells. You reach out with your abilities to the marrow in his bones. You use your powers to give them all the minerals and vitamins they need and boost the power of Space held within them. You can feel them working now, growing and dividing and consuming with great speed to replenish the store of blood held in the Troll’s body.

When you open your eyes again, he still looks pale, but he is no longer shivering and he seems to be resting peacefully. When he wakes up, your unwitting donor will still feel anemic, but within a day or two he will find himself completely revitalized. Perhaps feeling even better than before you attacked!

This is something like a weekly affair for you. If you decided to completely drain your victims, you would probably be able to survive for a month or more. But Rose has advised to you that until a death occurs, the Canadian government will probably not spend much effort answering to claims of, “I was attacked by a Rainbow Drinker, I swear!”

Once you are satisfied with your work, you take to the air. Cold wind lashes against your skin as you speed home. You fly low, barely above the tree-tops, and you concentrate on preventing your skin from glowing. You have no invisibility powers so you would be easy to spot and track if you allowed your rainbow drinker light to shine. Your personal record for concentrating like this is forty five minutes, but you have only been practicing for a month. Porrim apparently had centuries in the dream bubbles to practice, so perhaps one day you will be as proficient as her.

Your destination is the hive you share with Rose. The nearest town is fifty miles away and it’s surrounded on all sides by dense Canadian forest. You touch down on the front porch as the sun begins to rise. The location is a compromise between the two of you. It’s far enough away from civilization so that you can prey on Trolls with little chance of being seen by random passerby. It’s also in a region that allowed Rose to design this hive to look rather similar to her original one. Of course you have added your own touch to it. She gets her observatory, you get your wide lawn-ring and decorative sails of colorful cloth.

You land with a soft thud on a small stone bridge which arches over a creek. The source of this creek is the waterfall that pours from the second floor balcony. It is both convenient and beautiful since the energy of the falling water comes from a nearby river and provides the house with more than enough electricity.

### Kanaya: Enter your hive

You punch in your combination and the front door unlocks for you. You step in, take off your shoes, and put them in their place in the closet. The sun has only just risen so Rose is almost certainly still asleep. This will provide an excellent opportunity to surprise her. Today is a very big day for the both of you after all.

You tip toe through the living room where the coffee table is cluttered with study books and practice exams. The mess you have allowed to accumulate makes you shudder internally, but you persevere and continue into the basement. You pass a guest bedroom and enter what appears to be a cellar. You walk straight to the opposite side of the room and pull on the edge of the book labeled, “Sburb Beta Walkthrough, by tentacleTherapist”. There is a click and the bookshelf swings inward to reveal the Sburb room. It is a massive secret room housing your own fully-upgraded alchemiter, a few other pieces of useful meteor technology, and most importantly, a row of transportalizers that Jade assembled and sent to you. You step onto the one labeled “Hellmurder Island” and are whisked away in a flash of white flame.

You arrive in the atrium of the Harley/English tower. You step off the transportalizer labeled “Kanaya/Rose” and turn to search for the one labeled “Crocker”. You find it placed between one labeled “Karkat/Dave” and one labeled “Terezi/Vriska”. You step on and arrive in a basement room in Mr. Crocker and Jane Crocker’s home. This room is also secret but is not nearly as large as your own. Mr. Crocker must live within commuting distance of his new job, so he was forced to purchase a suburban house rather than construct one from scratch. With transportalizers you are never more than a short walk away from an alchemiter, so neither Jane nor Mr. Crocker have yet voiced a desire to expand their secret room.

You step into the kitchen to find Mr. Crocker already awake and preparing breakfast for Jane, who is likely also still asleep. You politely greet him and apologize for your intrusion. He smiles at you and says that it is a welcome surprise to see you. He also asks what brings you here today. Isn’t today the big day for you and Rose? You confirm to Mr. Crocker that yes, today is the big day and you want to get it started right. You just had your own … breakfast –he grimaces at the implication but understands your unique needs and thus does not question or criticize- and you want to provide Rose with a similarly satisfying human breakfast.

Mr. Crocker’s eyes seem to sparkle with fatherly pride at that. He quickly takes you to his side in the kitchen and guides you through the process of preparing a widely loved human breakfast of an “Eggs Benedict” with a side of “Bacon” and “French Toast”. Mr. Crocker makes an excellent teacher, but this still is your first attempt. He has to step in a few times to correct your mistakes and you have to start from scratch a couple of times after ruining some step in the process. Within two hours the meal is nearly complete.  
Jane walks down the stairs, yawning and rubbing her eyes under her glasses. She is still wearing her God-Tier pajamas and presumably slept in them. You could never criticize her. God-Tier pajamas are simply the most comfortable things there are.

good morning dad … oh! good morning kanaya. what are you doing here so early?

Jane begins preparing a cup of coffee and looks over your shoulder at the pan of sizzling bacon.

i thought that you didn’t eat normal food? that being a vam- … rainbow drinker meant you couldn’t eat food the way the rest of us can?

Yes. This Is True. But The Breakfast Is Not For Me. I Am Making It For Rose.

ooh. that’s very romantic of you! i am sure she will appreciate it.

Hold On. Is Preparing A Breakfast For A Girlfriend A Romantic Gesture? I Did Not Know This.

well, i think it is? i honestly don’t know much about romance myself. but i do seem to recall “breakfast in bed” as a common romantic trope?

You smile inwardly. What a lovely coincidence! You honestly are warming up to the human style of romance more and more. You make a show of an exaggerated sarcastic sigh.

Well. I Wasn’t Intending On Any Specific Romantic Activities This Morning, But I Suppose I Should Take Advantage Of This Lucky Stroke, Shouldn’t I?

Jane’s takes a plate of her own breakfast from her father and sits down at the dining room table.

yes kanaya! you absolutely should. the two of you are honestly so cute together! i am quite jealous

Oh Don’t You Worry. I Am Sure Your Luck Will Turn.

Jane looks a little embarrassed as she sips at her coffee.

yeeeaaah. but i am not holding my breath for now. anyways what are you making for her?

Your Lus- … Father Has Taught Me “Eggs Benedict”, “Bacon”, and “French Toast”. I Am Preparing Some Of Each And Taking Some Coffee With Me Since That Is Her Beverage Of Choice.

You finish loading the meal onto the tray Mr. Crocker is letting you borrow. Jane looks impressed with the spread and gives you a thumbs up.

wow! that sure is a hearty meal. be careful not to drop it and good luck!

You thank Jane and Mr. Crocker and then carry the breakfast tray downstairs. You are careful to NOT captchalogue Rose’s meal since doing so seems to render most food incredibly bland. Similarly, food made by alchemiter has always been equally tasteless. While on the meteor, your companions never starved, but they did always seem dissatisfied with the food that they created.  
You make your way back to your home and look at the time. 8:28 AM. Unlike yourself, Rose is not an early riser. If left on her own, she will sometimes sleep in until noon. But you think that she will forgive you if you wake her up with the effort you have put in here and with an immediate cup of coffee.

You walk to the second floor and down the hall to the master bedroom where your (happy purring noises) girlfriend is asleep. You open the door and step in. You push some knitting projects off the dresser to put down the breakfast tray. Rose is beginning to stir so you take a seat on the side of the bed and gently shake her.

Rose. I Am Sorry For Waking You Up So Early, But I Have Something For You.

Rose makes an uncharacteristically undignified groan of protest. She takes hold of your forearm and tugs at you as she rolls. You let out a slight yelp of surprise as you fall into bed and land against her back. Rose murmurs Five more minutes and snuggles up against you as the little spoon. You roll your eyes and shake her gently. Rose, Darling, I Would Love To Stay Here, But I Have Prepared For You A Romantic Gesture Called “Breakfast In Bed” And I Think That You Would Enjoy It More If You Ate It Before It Got Cold.. Rose rolls around and looks up at you. She finally seems to notice the smell of bacon and her face lights up a bit.

You have told me before that you don’t know how to make Earth food. And yet, I smell something quite appetizing and distinctly Earthly.

Well, I Visited Mr. Crocker And He Coached Me.

Rose grins and nods in understanding. She wraps her arms around you and presses herself a bit closer.

Hmm. I suppose that explains it. So what exactly brought this on? You also have nothing to apologize for and I don’t recall having done anything quite so grand for you lately?

Um. Nothing In Particular? Today Is The Day That Our Letters Are Due To Arrive. I Was Up Anyways Since I Had A Meal This Morning. I Guess I Just Wanted To Start The Day Off Right.

At this, Rose lets go of you and sits up. She rubs her eyes and shakes the sleep from her head.

Oh. That’s right. Today IS the day isn’t it?

Finally released from her grip. You get off the bed and grab the breakfast tray. You bring it to the bed and set it down on Rose’s lap. She takes your hand and has you sit next to her. She sips at her coffee while she looks over her meal.

Wow. This is … actually quite impressive Kanaya. I think you might have a talent we need to exploit.

You make a low purring sound to signal that you are quite proud and pleased with yourself. You shift closer and lean against Rose’s side while she digs into the meal. You grab your book from your sylladex and read while she makes short work of your cooking.

You have just gotten immersed in your novel, a sci-fi story about humans and trolls fighting an interplanetary invaders, when you feel Rose’s hand on your cheek, pulling your head in, and then her lips on yours.

You smile and kiss back. You thought that this was a chaste “Good morning” or “Thank you” kiss, but then you realize her arms are wrapped around you. You feel her God-Tiered strength pulling you down on top of her and when the contact of your kiss breaks, you see she is blushing and looking at you with a familiar, sultry expression. Wait what? Is she doing what you think she is doing?

Oh. Oooh. She IS what you thought she was doing.

If cooking for her is always going to put her in a mood like _This_ then you are probably going to start doing it more often.

### Kanaya: We don’t need to see this! Fast forward to the important thing with the letters that have been teased several times already!

Really? You don’t want to see steamy Rosemary action?

### Author: Not really. As much as I enjoy that stuff, these two are still technically underage at this point on the timeline and I’d feel icky writing something like that. Don’t worry. I’ll do another time-skip or maybe make a spin-off fic with some E-Rated stuff.

Fiiine! Now that this has officially gone waaay too meta, let’s reign it back in.

As a reminder, your name is Kanaya Maryam. A few hours have passed since a certain morning activity transpired.

You are on your husktop and reading through some cooking guides. It is only when Rose enters your hive again that you realize that she left to get the mail. She returns and sits across from you with a rather serious look on her face. The advertisements and bills have been tossed aside, but two letters sit on the coffee table, front and center. One is addressed to Rose, the other is addressed to you. Both are from The Ontario School of Medicine, and both contain either letters of acceptance or letters of rejection. You have spent the last three months faking identities, catching up on your studies, taking entrance exams, and applying for medical school.

I have intentionally prevented myself from Seeing the likely contents of these letters. We are in the same boat, so to speak. No matter what is in them, I love you.

You nod your head. You really don’t know why you are feeling so anxious. You don’t really need to worry about getting accepted. You can always apply next year and it won’t really matter. You don’t really need jobs or money since you are immortal and have alchemiters.

But … Rose and you have had many length conversations about this. You agreed that you both want this. You want to take part in ordinary life again and live to help others in the ways you know best. You have promised each other that you won’t join until you can join together, so you don’t have to worry about Rose leaving you behind. You hypothesize that your anxiety comes from the fact that you have put so much effort into preparing for this. You had a bit of a head-start since your Lusus taught you all the basics of Troll anatomy and surg-injury. But this planet’s idea of medicine is so very alien to you. You suppose you are just afraid of being disappointed, and it looks like Rose feels the same way.

She hands you your letter and picks up her own. You open them together and read.

Your faces both light up with glee with the first word.

“Congratulations”

You don’t even bother to read the rest for now. You wrap your lover in an embrace and kiss her deeply. You are going to college together! You are going to have a career and make a life together!

##### Your name is Kanaya Maryam and nothing is going to stand in your way

##### Your name is Rose Lalonde and nothing is going to stand in your way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading!  
> The next chapter will be Davekat stuff!  
> Or maybe Terezi/Vriska?
> 
> Anyways, this fic is only just getting started so thanks for bearing with me!


	5. Four Months and Ten Days: Karkat Vantas

Your name is **Karkat Vantas**

Until very recently, you were **BLISSFULLY ASLEEP** in a human-style bed. **UN-FUCKING-FORTURNATELY** , your alarm is blasting **RAP CAVIAR** from the bedside table. There is no way you are going back to sleep with that **RHYTHMIC DRILING** into your hearing-chutes. You blindly slap around for your phone and accidentally knock it to the **FLOOR** and out of reach. God Dammit.

What do you do?

### Karkat Vantas: Greet the morning with the sour attitude it deserves

You cannot greet the morning at all since it is already three in the afternoon. You fall out of bed with an appropriate expletive and finally get your hands on your cellphone. You blink with bleary, bloodshot eyes and look at the label of your alarm.

“PCG to CCG: GET THE FUCK UP YOU LAZY SACK OF SHIT! YOU’VE GOT A DATE THIS AFTERNOON AND YOU NEED TO AT LEAST RESEMBLE A FUNCTIONING SAPIENT ORGANISM!”

You roll your eyes and shut the alarm up. Past Karkat can go fuck himself, but he did just save your ass. You have a date.

Your “morning” routine consists of showering, putting on a baggy set of sweat pants and a grey hoody. You brush the morning-breath from your teeth, and run your fingers through your hair. You examine yourself in the mirror and decide that while you certainly are not anything resembling fancy, you do look clean and normal.

You shuffle out of the cluttered bathroom and into the luxurious penthouse apartment you share with Dave. Sunlight beams in through skylights and reflects off Dave's shitty sword collection mounted on the wall. Posters of troll and human celebrities cover every inch of space on the walls. You have to tip toe across the apartment over a spaghetti of wires to reach the door. You go down the hall and past the stairs to the elevator. (This building is like one hundred stories or something, like hell are you taking the stairs). The elevator drops you off at the brightly lit lobby of your apartment building, and then outside are the bustling streets of New York City. You keep your head down and push your way through the crowds of humans and trolls going about their business as you walk to the gyro place where Dave and you always meet.

You turn a corner, walk down a block, cross a street, and cut through a small plaza. You wince at the loud noise made by a busker playing bucket drums. Finally, you spot Dave through the crowd, walking toward the café from the opposite end of the block. He’s easily four inches taller than everyone else on the street so spotting him is easy.

He’s got that asshole smirk on his face and those stupid shades and wearing that sexy suit and his hair is looking soft as ever and GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF VANTAS! You shake your head and knock a fist against your skull to clear those intrusive thoughts from your comprehension-slab. There’s a time and a place, dammit! You don’t exactly smile back at him, but your grumpy grimace can’t help but soften at the sight of your favorite human. Like clockwork, the two of you arrive in front of the restaurants doors at the exact same time. The two of you pick out a cozy table near the windows so you can watch people walk by as you drink, eat and unwind.

SO HOW WAS THE DAY JOB?

pretty meh. you know how it is. Being a wall-street douchebag pays the bills and then some, but it’s not exactly interesting when you know exactly how things are going to go.

YEAH. WELL YOU HAVE A GIG TONIGHT DON’T YOU?

yep. that should be fun. it’s at the same club as two weeks ago. the one with the super ironic name.

AS IF YOU NEEDED YOUR EGO TO BE INFLATED EVEN FURTHER. WHAT WAS IT CALLED, “KNIGHT OF TIME”?

yeah. it’s got the theme down right and everything. lots of red and black, logos of records and all that jazz. but of course, the classical sculptures of _the knight_ all look completely ridiculous. i look at those things and i think to myself, “who is this douchebag?”. and then i realize that it’s me. i am the douchebag.

anyways how’s your hobby going?

FUCK OFF STRIDER, IT’S NOT A FUCKING HOBBY ANYMORE AND YOU KNOW IT

Dave chuckles and grins at you (stupid sexy Strider smile). A couple other patrons in the restaurant give you weird looks in response to the sudden outbursts, but nobody really cares. It’s New York after all. The waiter certainly isn’t phased by it and brings your gyro wraps to you without a second look.

jegus karkat, chill. i'm just pushing your buttons. seriously though, how is it going?

I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM MAKING SOME REAL PROGRESS, DAVE. DESPITE WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE RALLYING TO ME AND I AM GETTING MORE AND MORE POPULAR BY THE SECOND

uh-huh. sure thing dude. so are you going to start paying your half of rent then?

EAT MY ASS! YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT I’D HAVE TO HAVE THE GDP OF A SMALL COUNTRY TO AFFORD THAT SHIT. THE ONLY REASON WE GET TO KEEP THAT PLACE IS BECAUSE OF YOUR WALL STREET BULLCRAP. AT LEAST I PULL MY WEIGHT IN KEEPING THE PLACE FUCKING PRESENTABLE! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID DISHES?

The two of you are just throwing quips and kicking dust at each other now. Neither one of you actually cares about money, who does the chores, nor how clean the bathroom is supposed to be. This definitely feels like the kind of pitch flirting you would prefer to do with a kismesis, but honestly, Dave and you are well beyond labels at this point. Eventually the food has been eaten and the sky starts to darken. The two of you leave your table and, because neither one of you really wants to leave the other just yet, you end up walking around the block a few times. Just chatting and bantering and flirting like a pair of gross old coots that have been married for sweeps! You could probably do this with Dave all night. But, of course, your intimate time is interrupted by a pair of clearly nervous and starstruck teenagers.

They walk right up to you. "Hello? Are you Vantas?? Oh! And this must be Dave!" one of them squeaks out in a voice that cracks half way through. You roll your eyes, but you can’t help but crack a bit of a smile. It’s really nice when you get to meet fans in person, but you don’t like having your Strider-time interrupted. The other fan excited squeals, “It IISS you! Ohmygod could we get a picture with you?!” Dave smirks and looks to you for your answer. “Absolutely", you say, "Thanks for asking before taking them." The two teens hurry to your sides and pose for the selfie. You notice that Dave stood off to the side at first, but you tug Dave's arm and pull him into frame.

The two fans thank you and run off. As awkward as that moment was, it did make for a decent transition into saying goodbye to your boyfriend. You give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and say your goodbyes for the evening. If he's going to a gig, he'll probably be there until well past when you'd normally go to sleep, so you might not see him again until morning tomorrow. The walk back to the apartment is just as miserable as the walk you took here, but you sigh in relief once you step back into your apartment. But you don't get to relax for very long. You have to get to work yourself.

You get a glass of water and stroll into a room that’s probably supposed to be a guest bedroom, but you have made it into a studio. A large, multi-tiered desk stands against the wall. It carries three large monitors, a stand for a boom-mic, a mechanical keyboard, and a pair of studio lights. A large, brand-new, custom-made P.C. sits underneath the desk, hidden by the bright red and black gamer chair. A well-lit green screen lines the back of the back of the room and hides the Ethernet and power cords that support this whole setup.

Shortly after arriving on Earth you started playing some video games to kill time. Of course you were getting your ass handed to you on the regular, but that’s only to be expected. Very few of the games you are actually familiar with were developed in this universe. You decided to do a little research and watch some professionals play. Strangely enough, Twitch made it to this universe without a mammalian name-change like every other fucking thing.

One evening, while Dave was working a gig, you decided to actually put on a Stream rather than just watching. You weren’t expecting anything to actually happen. But one became two, then four, then ten. For whatever reason, everybody who comes and watches just keeps coming back for more. Even though Dave gives you a hard time about your new living, he’s been really supportive and he even set up most of this stuff for you when you decided to really start doing this full-time. It’s only been about three months since then and here you are about to celebrate reaching 15 million Youtube subscribers and almost as many Twitch followers.

You boot up the computer, check the cameras, do a mic check, and boot up the stream.

carcinoGeneticist has begun the stream, “BIG ASS MILESTONES, ALSO WATCH ME GET MY TEETH KICKED IN AS USUAL”  
Chat is now enabled

The routine cacophony of chat immediately pours in. You wait a while and let users fill in. You rub your eyes, stretch your neck, loosen your shoulders, take a swig of water, and clear your throat. Showtime.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS, LOOK AT WHAT THE MEOWBEASTS DRAGGED IN. GOOD EVENING CHAT, YOU SURE TURNED OUT IN DROVES TONIGHT. I GUESS I SHOULD THANK YOU ALL FOR FINALLY GETTING ME TO FIFTEEN MILLION FUCKING SUBSCRIBERS. HOW IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN? ANYWAYS, THE POLL SAYS THAT YOU WANT ME TO PLAY MORE “GETTING PAST IT WITH REMY FOLLER” I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHY, THAT GAME IS FUCKING INFURIATING BUT I GUESS I AM AT THE COLLECTIVE WHIMS OF FIFTEEN MILLION ZOOMERS TODAY.

Your stream goes about as expected. You rage against this shit-storm of a game and the people on the other end of the camera eat that shit up. You try to stay humble under all this attention. A younger version of yourself would have let all this spotlight go to his head and gone mad with arrogance. But the more sensible, present you knows that this job is a careful balance. You must be humble enough to be approachable yet sarcastically arrogant enough to be funny. You must be skilled enough to be entertaining yet make mistakes big enough to create dramatic content.

When you started, you didn’t realize what was happening, but by now you can feel it when you pay attention. Blood symbolizes responsibilities and connections between people and Knights are driven to serve. By putting on these shows, you are serving the millions of people who watch your content, and as you do so, you are building relationships with your fans. As you stream, you can feel the connections flow from you through the internet and to the screens of thousands of watchers, binding you all together in a fun shared experience. Fun for them anyways. This ridiculous game about a hard-to-control man in a cauldron is infuriating beyond belief. Your voice is already feeling hoarse from all the shouting at the screen you have done.

ALRIGHT. THAT’S MORE THAN ENOUGH OF THAT CHAT. I DON’T THINK I CAN TAKE THAT PIECE OF TRASH GAME ANY MORE. LET’S READ SOME MESSAGES AND DO SOME RESPONSES … JESICA ASKS IF SHE CAN GET A SHOUT-OUT FOR HER FRIEND TRESKI, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO CHAT. TRESKI YOU ARE THE CHAMPION. YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING … LET’S SEE … “WHITE-TOP-HAT” HAS A FIVE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH THEIR MATESPRITE TODAY. THAT’S AWERSOME! CAN WE GET SOME CONGRATS IN THE CHAT? GRAMMATICAL-DICTATOR ASKS “WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE ALIEN RUMORS GOING AROUND?” WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Upon this, a downpour of links falls through the chat

FraxisTerminator: https://www.seenit.com/r/whatisthisthing/comments/aef0xeha/  
PhyrexianAltar12: Everyone is talking about it. I’m so fed up with it. It’ll just turn out to be something boring like Roswell did.  
Nathaniel192334: https://www.frayed.com/story/unexplained-footage-shows-flying-people/  
GrenwichIsolation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0  
ExtraThiccFries: Someone will debunk it any day now  
ChrisWearsCrocs197: Those interviews are super convincing tho. They were all done independently and none of them ever new each other prior.

This wasn’t the first time a news sensation had been brought up on stream. Your followers seem to really enjoy listening to your opinions on scandals, current events, and even politics. You start browsing some of the forums and videos that have been sent to you. As you read and watch, your amused-angry face tightens into a concerned-angry face, then a surprised-angry face, and finally a pissed-angry face.

Social media is alive with debate and speculation on the “Weird Shit” that happened during a typhoon that slammed the Phillipines yesterday. Every mainstream media outlet seems to have hardly bothered to cover it at all. All the major news sites insist that these rumors are baseless. But they do admit that their meteorologists are baffled by how the typhoon melted away within hours of hitting islands.

To actually find any primary sources on the subject, you have to sort through the links your followers gave you. Odd forums, personal vlogs, small youtube uploads and re-uploads. There’s an interview with a fishermen who supposedly got stuck out at sea and was rescued. He claims that there was “a flash of green” and then they were in the middle of town. Another interviewee claims that moments before getting swept under a flash flood, they were picked up by a flying person in blue and taken to safety. There was even a whole team of rescue workers who proudly reported that they rescued more people than ever before. But they are concerned about how they were briefly strong enough to toss aside heavy fallen trees and run through three foot rushing water like it was nothing. One of them claims that a power line fell on their leg but they weren't hurt at all. They also all mentioned a "pale yellow glow" they felt throughout the storm.

You mutter under your breath.(OH HELL NO) You collect yourself once more and go on about how this shit probably is fake as fuck. But the bottom line is that you’re glad that the worst of the disaster was avoided. You wrap the stream up as quickly as you can. As soon as the cameras are off, you pull up persterchum.

You open the group chat and are halfway through a classic rant before you pause. Do they already know? Who exactly are you ranting at? What exactly are you angry at them for? All questions that Strider would ask if he were here.

Those interviews you watched pretty clearly implicate at least Egbert and Harley, classic dumbasses, but it sounds like there’s at least one more. Pale yellow glow? Maybe Lalonde? You furrow your brow and rub your chin. She is the one who has been so insistent on keeping our godly statuses a secret. If she’s been getting up to vigilante work while telling everyone else to keep their heads down, that would be a seriously embarrassing hypocrisy. Honestly though, the glowy thing probably wasn’t Lalonde. Boosting the strength of others doesn’t sound like a Seer thing.

You lean back in your chair and look at the ceiling. You consider the results of what actually happened. John, Jade, and one or more friends saved a whole lot of people from a natural disaster. While they definitely caused a stir, they kept a low enough profile that nobody suspects the Gods have returned.

You make up your mind and switch to direct messages

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling  ectoBiologist [EB] \--  


CG: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2tDAqifAXw 

CG: JOHN TAKE A LOOK AT THE VIDEO. THAT GUY IS TALKING ABOUT YOU RIGHT? AND YOU STOPPED THE TYPHOON? ITS NOT ON ANY MAJOR AMERICAN NEWS SITES BUT I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF ROSE FINDS OUT SOON. IF THAT HAPPENS, I’LL COME TO YOUR DEFENSE, BUT YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO TONE IT DOWN.

EB: X(

EB: well that’s just fantastic

CG: HONESTLY SPEAKING, SHE’LL PROBABLY WAIT TO CONFRONT YOU AT THE WEEKLY GET-TOGETHER ON SATURDAY.

EB: thanks for the heads up karkat. congrats on hitting 15 million btw

ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You lean back and sigh. No matter how much time passes, how many friends come and go, or how many universes you travel you always will be saddled with managing the drama of the grubs you call friends. But this time it's different. No more dystopian hellscape, no more death games, no more meteors, and no more enemies that want you dead. The stakes are so much lower now. You can finally sit back and enjoy your life and friendships. You've won and even though there will always be problems to solve and motherfuckers to keep in line, you couldn't have asked for a better reward.

##### Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are finally enjoying life.

### Karkat Vantas: You Ninja wanna-be! Stop your sappy internal monologue and be someone else

You are now Dave Strider and you are really, really proud of Karkat. You know transitioning to city life has been hard and he’s doing an amazing job with the whole streaming thing. He has come a long way from when you first met on the meteor and he's made even more progress since you all arrived in this new universe. Karkat didn't leave the apartment a single time during the whole first month except through the transportalizer. On the original Alternia, it would have been a death sentence for Karkat to interact with strangers in person. But now he is comfortably taking photos with fans on the street. Honestly, the support from Karkat's fans is probably why he has grown so comfortable with strangers and going outdoors. You know that fanbases can get really hateful and difficult to manage, but Karkat seems to have a knack for bringing the best out of people, yourself included.

The ends of lips curl in a faint grin as you think about your favorite person. You are standing outside your apartment door. You have a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and two boxes of New York pepperoni pizza in the other. Karkat doesn’t know, but the two of you had your first date on the meteor two years, three hundred sixty-four days, and nineteen hours ago. Operation "Awesome Third Anniversary Date" starts now. You turn the key and push open the door.

##### Your name is Dave Strider and you love Karkat Vantas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for taking so long on that last chapter. I honestly kinda forgot about it for several months and came back to it last night. Now that I am doing online school for the next month, I might start writing more consistently. Idk?
> 
> If you notice any grammar/spelling mistakes that I missed, feel free to let me know.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Four Months and Thirteen Days: Sollux Captor

Your name is **SOLLUX CAPTOR**

You are currently **DITCHING THE WEEKLY GET-TOGETHER** to go on a **DATE**. To be more specific, your **MATESPRITE** finally managed to drag you to a **MUSEUM**. She’s been begging to get you here ever since you mentioned that you have **NEVER** actually been to one before. You finally relented last night but you **ALREADY REGRET IT**. At the behest of a **CERTAIN LALONDE** you’ve been keeping your wings hidden and haven’t been wearing your God-Tier robes **IN PUBLIC**. You are wearing jeans and a black **HOODIE** with your sign on the front. Aradia is wearing a jean jacket over a summer dress. She looks **VERY BEAUTIFUL** in your opinion.

What will you do?

### Sollux: Don’t knock it before you try it.

You were never a fan of crowds, of going outside, or of doing so much walking. You can’t really imagine enjoying a museum. Your idea of a date would be a movie theatre, going to an arcade, or maybe even dinner in a nice restaurant if you’re feeling charitable. Luckily you love Aradia more than you hate crowded areas. Her grin is as wide as ever. It looks like she can barely contain her excitement as you walk up the steps. You’ve never been to a museum before but you remember hearing horror stories from Karkat about the one Equius apparently kept. Columns line the front of the building and support a heavily decorated pediment. Banners hang between the columns and advertise different exhibits. One in particular catches your eye.

Sburbian Myths and Carpacians

ii2 that why you wanted two come here 2peciifiically?

Aradia’s grin widens even farther. Enough to make her eyes squint mischievously.

guilty as charged! i put a hell of a lot of work into building this timeline. all the odd jobs we did apparently had massive butterfly-effect consequences, but we never got to see the big picture. besides, this new universe's depiction of us is just hilarious! look!

Aradia points to one of the murals. On it is a depiction of three human women. They are all looking at a golden apple and seem to be arguing about something.

see! that’s what they thought you and i looked like!

they thought we were three human women???

Aradia looks at you quizzically, looks back at the mural, and then laughs.

not that one! the one to the left of that.

Oh, whoops. The mural she meant depicts a pair of skeletal trolls. One has a comically massive smile and a pair of strange bat-like wings. The other has an equally comical frown and missing eyes. They are wearing black robes and seem to be guiding a procession of sad looking humans and trolls with various lethal wounds

from what i've heard, the carapacians passed our story on to the trolls and humans they raised. that story was telephoned down until eventually being written, and by them it was more of a myth than an actual story. in those myths, we are seen as a pair of grim reapers with a sort of comedy-tragedy duality thing going on. they believe we guided the souls of dead warriors through the afterlife.

wow. that ii2 ba2iically riight on the money though. yeah?

sorta. they got the theme right. but look at those faces and horns! we look ridiculous! and super dead!

You shrug. It seems like a pretty reasonable misunderstanding. And then think a bit about what she said earlier.

wait. carapaciian2? ii guess ii haven’t really been paying much attentiion but ii haven’t 2een any carapaciian2 on thii2 planet.

oh yeah. it was kinda rushed but we had jade drop a whole lot of them off with the first grubs and human-babies. they must have died off at some point. nobody else seems interested in figuring out why though.

not even lalonde?

i brought it up to her once. she said that she noticed, but then she said that “it's a mystery that only leads to darkness”. she’s been avoiding the matter ever since and trying not to mention it to anyone else.

Your memories of that first day are pretty fuzzy. While you were blind, apparently the big LE got kicked into a black hole by adult versions of the beta humans. Once that was done, Aradia guided you to the white door after the humans left and it dropped you on the new planet with the rest of the group. Entering the new universe apparently gave you God-Tier so your split soul was fixed and your vision returned. Then a future Aradia showed up and explained that a new timeline of history has been taken care of. She then dropped you off on that island and that was about four and a half months ago.

ii guess ii hadn’t giiven iit much thought. ii ju2t took thii2 whole new planet for granted and triied not two worry two much.

The two of you walk through the entrance. You pass through some simple security and metal detectors. You can't help but chuckle to yourself. If you wanted to cause some damage, your God-Tier boosted psiioncs would be far more dangerous than any earth-gun. Luckily the trolls who grew up on this planet apparently don't have any notable abilities. They honestly seem more like humans than the trolls of Alternia. Perhaps that's for the better.

You enter the main lobby with Aradia at your side. The fossil remains of a large and toothy creature dominate the center of the massive room.

what the fuck ii2 that mon2tro2iity? 2ome kiind of dead lu2u2?

Aradia hops over to the plaque and explains that it’s a sea creature that existed about 85 million years ago during the “Earth Sea” era. Apparently it’s a long-dead lusus that the condesce released onto Earth while it was covered in ocean. Aradia explains that the people of this planet don’t realize there was a whole other human civilization that existed before, but they know that the planet was completely flooded and then new continents emerged. As she explains you pull up Wikipedia for more details.

oh wow! they even fiigured out that troll2 are genetiically related two lu2ii and that human2 are genetiically related two pre-flood liife.

that’s pretty neat. anything about carapacians?

umm… they’re not mentiioned here at all. hold on... okay ii diid a quiick 2earch and iit look2 liike they don't actually know what carapaciian2 are. everythiing ii've found 2ay2 that they're eiither an poorly under2tood anciient ciiviiliizatiion of troll2 and human2 or that they're ju2t a myth.

Aradia makes an expression of mild surprise. She looks like she’s searching her memory.

i guess i never did see any carapacians even as far back as five thousand years ago. maybe they died off early enough that they were confused with myth? but even if they died, surely their remains must have been found at some point? 

You follow the signs and walk through the crowded museum past tour groups and wiggler field trips. You eventually reach the entrance to the west wing of the museum. The archway is decorated with a banner carrying the symbol of Skaia. You enter and pass through a small hallway. The atrium at the other end is truly enormous. In the center is a shrine that basically looks like a smaller version of the frog temple. But it’s still tall enough that the top of the frog’s head nearly reaches the domed roof. It looks too old and damaged to be a reconstruction. Maybe this building was built around it? Maybe it was disassembled and moved here? Columns form a perimeter around the frog shrine and support a smaller second floor of the atrium. Throughout the room, surrounding the shrine are glass cases, statues, and interactive exhibits that seem to be devoted to all manner of Skaian myths, ancient artwork, and the people who supposedly made them.

Aradia’s eyes go wide with wonder. You think back to when you and she would plunder ruins and ancient temples together. It makes sense that Aradia would enjoy this so much. She has a whole new planet full of history and artifacts to uncover. The two of you stroll around the room, saving the shrine for last. Aradia goes to look at a series of old pottery art while you walk up to an interactive display. It’s a map of the Earth with different red crosshairs on it. You reach out and tap one and it expands.

There’s an image of a decrepit temple on a hill. It’s labelled, Arcadia Greece: 4000-3000 B.C.E. the text below reads, Pottery depicting Skaian symbols and Carapacians have been found during excavations in the Arcadian region of Greece. As is the case with the many other peoples that the Carapacians encountered, it’s theorized that they had a heavy influence on what would eventually become Greek Mythology. The Greek Pantheon contains many gods with direct parallels in the Skaian pantheon. This is especially true in the case of Dionysus, the god of drunkenness and parties, who is a nearly exact copy of the Bard of Rage.

You raise an eyebrow as you read. “encountered?” not “raised by”. You tap on various other locations. India, Ghana, Maya, Gaul, Egypt, they all say much the same thing. You look over your shoulder. Aradia has moved on from the ancient pottery and is examining a life-size diorama of some trolls and humans wearing rags in a wilderness setting. The people in the diorama seem to be pulling wagons and travelling with tools and domesticated lusi. The humans are very dark in color, nearly completely pitch black. The trolls look pale to the point of being eggshell white. Upon closer inspection, it looks like the trolls are actually covered in the same face-paint that Gamzee used to wear. As you walk up next to her, you see she is reading a plaque and visibly shaking, trying to control her laughter. You look over her shoulder to read it.

While some archaeologists insist that Carapacians are a purely mythic species passed down from the first communities of ancient humans and trolls, others hypothesize that they are based on a real nomadic civilization. If such a civilization did exist, it’s people might have look like this. To explain the contrasting black and white colors depicted in most artwork of Carapacians, the humans may have been particularly dark in skin-tone and the trolls may have been fond of covering themselves in body-paints. The biggest questions that still need to be answered are:  
Why did the Carapacians choose to live such an extreme form of nomadic life, such that they came into contact with nearly every early civilization in such a short time? :  
How did they adapt to the many unfamiliar climates across the globe to reach those civilizations?

Oh wow. It’s ridiculous how wrong they are, and yet they are so serious about it. Aradia bursts out laughing and you can’t help but chuckle with her. The two of you get some stern and odd looks but you really don’t care. let’s check out that shrine thing now The two of you walk through both the first and second floor. Clearly this shrine is based on the original frog temple and was built as a place of worship to the Genesis Frog. Looking more closely the two of you can see that it was almost certainly built by the Carapacians, but it looks like there’s… stuff missing.

iif thii2 were the meteor, there would have been cloniing equiipment here. riight?

Aradia looks at where you are pointing. Hieroglyphs cover the walls but wrap around this spot. There’s plenty of space here for a cloning tank, an appearifier, or something. There’s even holes in the wall to indicate something having been bolted in place and then ripped out. 

you’re right. and that’s a really good point. what happened to all the technology?

Did they take any technology with them to this planet in the first place?

Aradia nods and looks at the wall with a furrowed brow. first we collected all the survivors we could find. we loaded them up on a bunch of battleships and let them go through the furthest ring. they scavenged for all the technology they thought they would need. by the time they were done, there were at least twenty battleships packed with alchemiters, cloning equipment, and other stuff.

You roll your eyes. You haven’t been a God Tier for very long. And you have been really trying to avoid using your powers because of how grim they are and how much they remind you of the voices you used to hear on Alternia. But this is just getting ridiculous. You concentrate on Carapacians. Then you think about their Doom. It’s like working a muscle you aren’t used to using from an awkward position. You have to both reach back in your memory and to a group that you aren't very familiar with. It’s really challenging but you eventually grasp it.

the cloniing machiine2. they broke down after only one hundred year2 or 2o. they were never meant two run for 2o long and none of them knew how two make new one2. al2o carapaciian2 don't have any mean2 of reproduciing naturally, 2o once tho2e machiine2 broke, they were all doomed two extiinctiion.

even if they broke, that doesn't explain where the machines went. i looked pretty thoroughly. there's no skaian technology in any of these exhibits.

You ponder that for a minute. Old Skaian technology is pretty distinctive and nobody really understands how that stuff works. You once attempted to take apart an alchemiter to see if there was a way to hack into it. If you succeeded, you might have found a way to get unlimited loot without consuming grist. But before you could even start, you were stopped by its surface; a perfect and indestructible shell around the internal components. There was absolutely no way to get inside, and incidentally, there would have been no way to put that shell on through any mundane means.

let'2 go two one of tho2e ba2e2 they buiilt. iif any of the oriigiinal buiildiing2 are 2tiill iintact, we can fiind a place where 2kaiian technology should have been, and then 2earch back iin tiime for when iit wa2 moved.

Aradia takes your hand and grins excitedly. you mean we’re going on an expedition? You give her a small smile back.

yep. let’2 do iit

The two of you leave the museum, find an alley, pause time, and take off

##### Your name is Sollux Captor, and even if these happy times are doomed to end, you are finally having fun again.


End file.
